Time To Check Our Gear

Alright team, we're heading out into the zones and before we go into the zones its very important that we make sure we have every single thing we could possibly... zzzz 

On Sleepy Time Mumbles... 

A podcast you CAN miss. 

Transcript

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Good evening and welcome to Dan Bane's Sleepy Time Mumbles. A podcast You Can Miss. I'm Dan Bain, and every episode I improvise a low-stakes podcast for you to fall asleep to. Excited to get back behind the mic. But not so excited that it'll come across in my voice or manner of speaking. But it has been a while since I've done a full episode of the show. Over in Micro Sleeps. I've been I tried this thing where I recorded while I was in actually falling asleep. I don't know how successful or otherwise that was, but I'm I'm pushing the form. I guess that's uh that's the that's what I'm saying. A constant process of innovation at the the House of Mumbles. If you'd like to be part of that, of course, you can subscribe. Subscribers get free micro sleep episodes and access to the whole sleepy time mumbles catalogue. They also sleep easy, knowing that they are keeping the 50 most recent episodes of the show ad-free for everyone else. What a that must feel good. You could be one of them. But not now. That can wait for now. Put down your phone, turn off your screens, and and close your eyes. Now it's time to be mumbled to sleep. Hey buddy. You come to snore in the back of the recording? You comfy? Okay. Let's check our gear. All right, everybody. We're about to do what an expedition is ahead of us. We're gonna be lauded and feated, fetted, felebrated for the accomplishments that we are going to achieve on this expedition. And I want to thank each and every one of you for being here today at this genuinely historic moment. People look back at this time and what they'll wonder to themselves: how did they achieve this? How did this extraordinary feat of bravery of expertise of courage in the face of adversity? How did that manifest? And I'll tell you, friends, it happened by preparation, by planning by the very uninteresting but essential skills of list making of checking checking things off and of double checking. So a lot of checking to be done. Check check one two. Make sure that they are carrying that essential piece of gear. I would like to thank our exploratory sponsors. Those people who have either donated goods or cash to buy said goods. Thank you so much. To all our sponsors. I'm talking bird weight countermeasures. Thank you to the team at BirdWait. Who was such a huge part of the negotiations for that deal. Um Crumline Ropes and Gardas. Thank you so much for uh all of your support both in supporting our suspension from heights and suspending our stockings. Those are all like we can't have them roll down and shame us. That's a no. Because this is a respectable expedition. Not like Jamsworth and his run of the mill scandalous expedition. We are doing things by the book. One hundred percent. Now everybody, get out your backpacks, get out your pouches, your scabbards, your quivers, your secret compartments. Empty them out because I need to see you seeing your equipment. Let's go. I'm interested first of all in seeing what rations have you packed for yourself. So I'll accept the following dried meats jerky style, not a sweet one, chewable, high protein, dehydrated, probably too salty. That sort of dried meats. Obviously, elven limbers bread. Is that what it's called? Anyway, if you've got any of that wrapped in little leaves, uh you're good you're good to go. Uh dehydrated meals. The kinds like they have on the spaceship or in Antarctica. Or I guess just in the military where there's a packet and you you just put put some in a small so you should all have some of those. Um what a canteen of water. Okay, everyone minimum one canteen of water, and everyone, everyone is to have a big drink before we go. Okay, I don't want to speak ten minutes down the road, and then you're like, I'm thirsty, and then you've drunk half your canteen. Okay, none of that. Also, just on the feeding nutrition side, uh, some pots, little little stove, uh that sort of thing, cook over a little fire, little grill, those sorts of things for heating, heating things up, okay. Matches, definitely, matches, lighters, sparks, zippos, uh all those sorts of things. Okay. Gotta be able to light a fire, boil up some water, rehydrate the nasty nasty spacements, for example. Okay. Also uh bring a life straw. Cuz we may need to we may need to drink out of manky puddles. That's just uh when you gear up that's just a reality that you sometimes have to face. You might be drinking out of a puddle and not a good puddle either. A manky one. Like, for example, the hoof print of an oxen, and it's filled up with water, and you gotta get your little your life straw on your hands and knees just slurping away. You gotta you're thirsty or in the indentations of a tank track. That's right. Who knows what's out there? When you're gearing up, you've got to be ready for different zones. Yeah. Um everyone has to bring a juicy. Okay. Speaking of different zones, there's a good chance it's gonna be cold sometimes. Even if it's hot. That doesn't mean that sometimes it won't be real cold. Um also it'll be rainy. Could be right so jersey and then probably a um probably raincoat and rain hat. Now you're gonna be tempted to bring a umbrella, don't bring umbrella. Okay, cuz when you're out in the zones, uh both hands free. You don't want so just rain hat. Um and also gets windy unless it's a really nice umbrella, it's gonna turn it inside out very easily, so don't even waste time with it. Jersey, raincoat, rain hat, pants. I mean dealer's choice on pants. Um you do you probably defo bring with pockets though, and long pants. Doesn't matter if it's hot to start off with, no, no shorts in the zone. Also good chance of getting sunburnt, um, but also do bring sunscreen. That's a good good point. Everyone got sunscreen, and I'm talking SBF 50, don't bring a tanning lotion. Okay. Right, that transitions us into medicines, first aid kits, etc. First things first, aid kit. Definitely have one. Also, antihistamines. Also, like if it's the future, um definitely bring like stim packs or whatever, like or spray on flesh, any any technological stuff like that, definitely, definitely bring that. If it is um if it's magic, if it's fa if it's a fantasy world, as many healing potions uh as you can comfortably carry. Um I would three minimum because if it is fantasy world, good chance it's a high damage environment. There's a lot of things out there just aching to kinda have a bit of a go of you. So careful with that. Um right. But we probably do need to talk about weapons. Okay, so obviously dealer's choice. I don't recommend you bring any weapons that you are not at least semi-proficient in the use of. So for some of you, that might just be stick. Okay. Hey Sophie, into your basket. Into your basket, you're too noisy. You need your nails cut. Okay, go to sleep. I mentioned stick, so obviously that's what summoned the beast. Okay. For some of you that's gonna be the best choice. Now some of you may be ready for step up from stick, uh, club or spear. Good choices. Uh particularly that's if if we're in like a fantasy environment again, that's what you're gonna kind of want to go for. Uh unless you have access to any sort of magical weaponry. I would jump on that if you have the choice of it, and I would also suggest if you can diversify between both a melee, so close range, and a ranged weapon, so a bow and arrow or A crossbow or well you you get the picture projectile weapon rock rock is projectile weapon also melee weapon it's versatile uh obviously if it's the future uh I would go for whatever you're allowed some sort of some sort of laser or plasma weapon uh probably for both close range and long range combat situations uh laser sword plasma cutter plasma rifle laser blaster all that's covers a vast array of uh futuristic possibilities okay uh boots just boots okay no shoes no jandles sandals flip flops high heels sneakers none of that it's boots all the way okay that's this is a non-negotiable and again that's whether we're contemporary uh future or fantasy boots uh um boots are one hundred percent compulsory okay right let's talk about miscellaneous items okay ropes definitely want to see ropes not everyone needs ropes but I want to see a good assortment uh across the company okay ropes what else grappling hooks absolutely no ropes without hand pitons uh spikes climbing spikes all that all that sort of thing uh light sources okay we've already talked about matches but that's about fire I also want light sources so what does that mean torches either flaming or alternatively battery powered or uh plasma coil powered I don't know but I don't even want anyone caught in the dark speaking of which if anyone has access to night vision equipment this would be a great time for you to get it okay that might come in real handy now uh let's let's go into some more specialized miscellaneous uh disguises okay I don't want everyone bringing disguises that's insane but a few disguises might not go awry ditto camouflage netting I'm thinking uh I'm thinking camouflage paint okay just a few specialists not everyone okay one instrument okay we aren't a traveling band but one loot bagpipes trumpet something like that at the right time could be ideal uh some also of course uh the banner of the company uh the company banner is definitely to be brought along and it will be uh all of our great shame if the banner should air touch the ground as is as is our way uh what else anything else we need lock picks don't forget those they'll be they'll be useful um tools like a tool so I'm thinking bolt cutters I'm thinking hacksaws okay maybe just one person could be allocated that role they seem quite heavy so we don't need heaps of them but do know if you're the person that's got them um if you do not have a knife please go and be issued one like boots knives are compulsory there's no situation that you're gonna be like oh no I've got a knife this is making the situation worse apart from airport security That was season seven episode four Time to gear up I can't remember what I called it time to check our gear good title not as memorable as I would have hoped Sleep It O Mumbles is produced by Nust Octopus Theatre etc it's recorded in Autotai Christchurch New Zealand and it's hosted and conceived of by me Dan Bain like and subscribe on the internet friends you can find all those things in the show notes until next time good night and sleep tight