The Dullest in Mixology

Welcome to beverage du savoir let me talk you through the cocktail list, and we'll see if we can find... zzz... 

On sleepy time mumbles...

... a podcast you CAN miss.

(I actually found bits of this too funny and I'm very sorry that I am so unprofessional)

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Halfway through the year, and it's it's very cold at my house. But the news says a lot of the world is very warm. Isn't that two different versions of things? Sure as I guess things can be different. Where it's warm meant I can be asleep. I feel much more connected to the cycles of nature in winter because my body aches to be hibernating. Let's not get up, and if we must, let's get back into the bed as quickly as possible screams the fibers, the fibers of my being. Well, you know about your ones, and I know about my ones and your ones because I am a fiber expert, but not now. That can wait for now. Put down your phones, turn off your screens, close your eyes. Because now it's time but with to be mumbled just like season seven, episode eight, the dullest in mixology. Hi, welcome to Savoir de Beverage, Savoir de Beverage. My name is Humboldt Armadillo, and I will be your cocktail mixologist for the evening. Before we get started, would anyone like a piece of shaved ice to clear your palate for the extraordinary taste sensations that are in store for you this evening. Of course, here let me balance it on this Japanese steel knife and flick it into your open mouth yakatori style. Yeah. Flair bartender by night. Let me take you through some of the items on tonight's cocktail menu. But bear in mind, if there's something that isn't there, feel free to let me know what you're thirsty for. And I'll be sure to whip it up because I have an encyclopedic knowledge of all cocktails, fresh and fruity, sour dry all the varietals I've I've got them all squirreled away in my mind, like a n like a squirrel where he puts his nuts for winter. Okay. Before I go through the cocktail list, would anyone like to see a underwhelming magic trick? No? I'll show you later anyway. Okay. First up, top of the cocktail mixing list, we have a rum and coke. Now with our house rum and coke, we ice a crystal tumbler. We add two measures of rum uh Captain Morgan rum and then and then we top it up. Uh we top it up to the almost to the top of the glass with uh Coca-Cola out of uh out of Sorry about that. Uh I had a car accident on the way to work and I'm having phantom emotions. Now what was I saying? Oh yes, uh this is a house specialty, nowhere else is really doing this, and we top it up to the top with Coca-Cola out of a out of the fountain, the little squirty gun, yeah. We top it up and then uh then I get a little straw, little cocktail straw, and give it a little swizzle, and it's that agitation uh of the liqueur that uh really infuses the um the rum right through the Coca-Cola, and so you're really getting those heavy forward rum notes uh balanced out with the cola flavor. A real classic and I certainly recommend it and I it I can make those quickly for the the four of you I could I could make I could have those done in ten minutes takes a while because I have to drizzle the collar over the back of an inverted spoon. So that takes a while, so that's uh yeah, firm favorite. Lots of people here. We do have a varietal version of that that we are experimenting with where uh we replace the rum with a bourbon. Uh it's a a Jack Daniels bourbon. So yeah, there is a a variant there, uh obviously different uh different alcohol flavor to that. Uh but takes me about the same amount of time to make it uh great. Next down the list is uh gin and tonic. Yes, this is a classic cocktail, uh really reminiscent of you know the days of the English Raj, Raffles Hotel in Singapore, lazy days in hammocks drinking, tonic, so the quinine kills mosquitoes two ice cubes, two measures of gin, and then it's topped off with a tonic and uh then also uh a slice of lemon, which uh no my mistake, the chef today has prepared lemon wedges for the genotonics, so that's great. Now if you're into something a little more elaborate, uh I do have a um uh something sweet for the lady, perhaps, something milky for the gentleman. Uh I can I can do a colour and milk. Here's how I make that. Colour the sweet kind of l liqueur and uh put some of that in this and then uh top it up with milk and some ice and some baileys and some uh whipped cream and a can and some uh like drinking chocolate sprinkle, a dusting. It's like a yeah, I know, and I mix it up before so the the cream and the dusting, that's a garnish, but the rest of it uh I mix it mix it together to uh get it really agitated and a bit frothy, a bit of a kind of milk froth going on, so that's a good one. Now, if you're interested in something uh a little more like a glass of red wine, uh I can mix up a glass of red wine for you, no problem. Uh and how we do that here is uh I will I'll take this bottle of wine uh and I will take the lid off it and then in a long stem uh red wine glass uh I will pour uh a a glass of this wine uh into the into the glass and that's that's actually it. It's simple, it's singular. Uh there's no it's a really clean way to drink uh a cocktail, single ingredient uh straight out of the can. What else? Okay, let's talk about all the things I have that have eggs in them. So I've got multiple cocktails that have egg. Uh I've got egg white, egg yolk, whole eggs. Uh so obviously uh egg white be added to pretty much anything just to give give it a bit of uh a bit of what I would refer to as uh frothy viscosity. It's a uh really good thickening agent for when you want a beverage to kind of uh be a little more claggy in the throat. Uh so I can put egg white in a glass of wine again, two ingredient cocktail, and I'll just froth that up. Um also we do a special here uh tequila sunrise, which is uh tequila orange juice, uh raspberry syrup. Uh get that real ombre in the glass. Uh but we here we c we put it egg yolk in it. It's very popular. I have to be careful not to burst uh burst the yoke. That's the signature signature move of the establishment. If I um if I burst the yoke, I just drink those myself because they don't meet my standards. And let me tell you, I've I've drunk a lot of tequila with eagernate. If you like a bit of theatre to the drink making process, I I'll set fire to anything. Uh I'll have you seen that thing where they throw liquor down the bar and like a flame runs the whole length of the bar. I'll do that. Any drink can be you can upscale any cocktail to a um a fire combo, which is just the same drink, but I mmm I set fire to something. Um yeah, so you guys feeling thirsty? Oh, if you're interested in any classics, the cocktail mixing list, we have a rum and coke. Now with our house rum and coke we ice a crystal tumbler, we add uh two measures of rum uh Captain Morgan rum and then and then we top it up uh we top it up to the almost to the top of the glass with uh Coca-Cola out of uh out of sorry about that. Uh I had a car accident on the way to work and I'm having phantom emotions. Now, what was I saying? Oh yes, uh this is a house specialty, nowhere else is really doing this. And we top it up to the top with Coca-Cola out of a out of the fountain, the little squirty gun. Yeah, we top it up and then uh then I get a little straw, little cocktail straw, and give it a little swizzle, and it's that agitation uh of the liqueur that uh really infuses the um the rum right through the Coca-Cola, and so you're really getting those heavy forward rum notes uh balanced out with the cola flavor. A real classic uh and I certainly recommend it and I it I can make those quickly for the four of you I could I could make I could have those done in ten minutes takes a while because I have to drizzle the collar over the back of an inverted spoon, so that takes a while, so that's uh your firm favorite. Lots of people here. We do have a varietal version of that that we are experimenting with where we replace the rum with a bourbon. Uh it's a a Jack Daniels bourbon. So yeah, there is a a variant there, uh obviously different uh different alcohol flavor to that, uh but takes me about the same amount of time to make it some other uh taste sensation, some other great cocktails. We've got some great cocktails uh on tap uh today. We've got a uh we've got a lager here, and we've also got a Pilsner and a hazy IPA. Uh all of our on tap Pilsner's uh cocktails are hand pulled uh served in a a chilled tall glass uh accompanied with a uh a BMAT. They each come with a BMAT, so that's that's a bonus. So look, I'll leave you guys to have a bit of a pour over the menu. Uh I know there's a lot of choices, tough decision, but uh as soon as you've as soon as you've worked out uh what you might be interested in just give me a wave and I'll be right over. Okay, thanks There was season seven, episode eight The Dullest in Mixology Sleepy Tome Mumbles Created and presented by me, Dan Bain, it's produced by New Stoctopus Theatre, etc. in Christchurch, New Zealand. You can subscribe to get every back episode and bonus micro sleep episodes and follow the show on your social media of choice. The links to do all that are in the show notes. Until next time. Good night. And sleep tight.